The Holiday Photo Pressure: A Little Reminder to Let Kids Be Kids

The Holiday Photo Pressure: A Little Reminder to Let Kids Be Kids

Every year, the holiday season rolls around, and with it comes this strange pressure to capture the perfect Christmas card photo.

And as a photographer who has built my entire brand around authentic connection, movement, and real moments, I’ll admit something: holiday mini sessions can be exhausting, both creatively and emotionally.

I love what I do. I love seeing familiar families return year after year, watching their babies grow, and getting to be a small part of their holiday traditions.

But there's also a side of holiday minis that I don't think we talk about enough.

When your entire approach to photography is built around letting kids warm up, play, explore, and just be themselves, trying to squeeze that magic into 15 minutes, with another family waiting right behind them, can feel a little defeating.

Not because the kids aren't cooperating. But because sometimes it feels like we're all working so hard to create the perfect moment that we forget to actually enjoy the one we're in.

Kids can feel the pressure, too.

Something I've noticed over the years is that I rarely struggle to get genuine smiles from kids during my regular sessions. Give them a little space, let them move, make things silly, and those smiles almost always come naturally.

But around the holidays? There's a different energy.

Parents want their kids to have fun, of course. But they also really, really want that one photo. The one where everyone is looking, everyone is smiling, and nobody is making a weird face.

And I get it. You're investing your money, coordinating outfits, getting everyone out the door, and hoping for something beautiful to send to your family and friends.

I'm a mom of three. I understand that feeling more than you know.

But I also think kids are incredibly good at picking up on our energy.

They sense when something matters a little too much. They feel our stress, our expectations, and our urgency. And depending on their age, sometimes their natural response is to do the exact opposite of what we're asking.

Suddenly, a child who smiles all day long wants absolutely nothing to do with smiling for a camera.

And the harder everyone tries, the harder it becomes.

What if we changed our expectations?

This holiday season, I want to challenge you to approach your photos a little differently.

Go into your session with the expectation that your kids might not smile. And be genuinely okay with that.

Not because I don't want to capture beautiful, smiling photos of your family. Of course I do.

But because your child doesn't need to perform to make a photograph worth having.

Maybe they're shy. Maybe they're feeling silly. Maybe they're in a stage where they refuse to look at the camera, or they want to be held by mom the entire time.

That's who they are right now.

And isn't that what we're trying to remember?

The funny thing about letting go of those expectations is that so often, we end up getting exactly what we wanted in the first place.

When kids don't feel pressured to smile, they smile.

When they're allowed to be silly, they laugh.

When parents stop worrying about whether everyone is cooperating, they start connecting with their kids instead.

And that's where the magic happens.

A reminder for parents (and maybe photographers, too).

I think somewhere along the way, especially with social media and perfectly curated holiday cards, we've started putting so much pressure on what these photos should look like.

But I don't want you to look back at your Christmas photos and remember how frustrated you were trying to get everyone to cooperate.

I want you to remember how little your kids were. How your toddler wouldn't let go of your hand. How your son made that ridiculous face he thought was hilarious. How your daughter wanted to be wrapped up in your arms.

Because those moments matter, too.

And as a photographer, I want to keep reminding myself that my job isn't just to deliver the perfect Christmas card photo. It's to create space for families to be themselves, even when the time is short and the season feels a little chaotic.

So this year, come with your outfits coordinated, but your expectations a little less perfect.

Let your kids be kids. Let me do the work of finding those moments. Laugh with them, play with them, love on them.

And if we get that beautiful, everyone-looking-at-the-camera smile? Amazing.

But if we get something a little messier, a little sillier, and a whole lot more you?

I promise, those photos are worth having, too.

Because at the end of the day, I'm not here to photograph perfect families.

I'm here to photograph yours.

— Bree Marie Photography